Feb 13, 2015 | Uncategorized
Perfectionism is the enemy of progress, and it’s a girl trap that I am constantly arming my female clients to defeat. Leadership is tough, especially when stepping into it for the first time, driving an unpopular — but necessary — initiative or when speaking against the conventional. A desire for perfection, if she lets it, will sabotage a woman’s ambition, credibility, ability to lead and paralyze her ability to act. Striving for perfection is such a common girl trap as, unlike men, we mistakenly feel we need all the answers before we speak or act. As rising leaders in a time of constant change — demanding innovative, creative solutions — we have to tolerate uncertainty, accept risk and make the best, reasoned decisions given the information we have. As a result, we may not always get it right but if we can’t risk sometimes getting it wrong, we aren’t leading from the front. So, the dtkMindset — in addition to being a cornerstone of evolved leadership —creates the space for the critical thinking that enables us to contextualize both risk and opportunity by insisting we see what’s happening on the ground as well as the landscape from 10,000 feet. The 21st Century global marketplace demands we do both: if we’re blinded by the need to be perfect, we’ll miss the view! If we work and wait for perfect, we’ll stay put a long time. Bottom line: pulling the plug on perfectionism isn’t easy. I’ve been there. But, with awareness, help and practice, it is possible. Your...
Jan 28, 2015 | coaching, confidence, critical thinking, gender roles in business, leadership, personal development, women
Recently, I received a thank you note from an executive in response to the professional development series she invited me to deliver to women in her industry. The note excitedly championed the “dtkMindset” I imparted to the group — a dtkSignature and a perfect term which I thank her for coining. What did she mean by the “dtkMindSet,” especially as it pertains to professional women? In a nutshell, it’s decidedly NOT a palliative fix, road map, template or formula — there are plenty of those around for the undiscriminating consumer — but rather it’s a way of thinking that deploys the power of and desirability of women’s innate brain wiring. ‘Getting’ the MindSet was already exciting but what was exciting to me was witnessing participants’ making the leap from MindSet to MindShift. And it’s that shift in women’s thinking that is so critical to improving women’s professional experience as well as their progress. The fact is the number of women in leadership positions — 17% — is dismal and the needle has been stuck there since I started tracking this in 2005. Between 2005 and 2015, smart people have tried to crack this but the problem is that sadly, their institutional or male-reliant remedies only address the externalities. Instead, it’s the shifting to a dtkMindset that’s critical especially for professional women interested in advancing through the ranks and into leadership positions. In addition to women’s more actively managing their own careers, the dtkMindset shows women that it’s the inside-out work that will ultimately make the difference. Women and confidence Confidence is a recurrent theme with women and with those...
Dec 27, 2014 | critical thinking, Gen Y, personal development
According to US Government studies, 45 to 50 percent of Americans make New Year resolutions. But 25 percent of these have been broken by the end of the FIRST week; 46 percent will be broken by the end of the first month and by the six-month mark, forget about it. So, with these odds, why do we continue, year after year, to make them? Where did this exercise in futility come from? Why don’t they stick? And, what’s a reasonable person to do? Why do we make them? Vestiges of Puritanism — of striving for improvement through self-examination and self-discipline — reside deep within the American psyche. Layer onto that the also profoundly American tenet of being the shining example, the “city on the hill” and we arrive at a self-involved national ethos that values perfection, self-control and moral superiority. Last I checked, though, we’re human and perfection is a moving target. Making resolutions gives us a false sense of control over our innately human natures and feeds into our need for big gestures. Whose idea was this anyway? While making New Year’s resolutions seems uniquely American, it seems we have the Babylonians to thank for initiating this now quaint custom. Back in the day (600-500 BCE), the ancients set aside the advent of the new year to wipe the slate clean. And because their cultural contributions often came from their need to delineate property, they used the day to settle accounts and return borrowed farm equipment. Ironically, the Puritan-esque ritual of self-improvement was, for the Babylonians, infused with some pagan superstition: they believed that as the first day...
Oct 20, 2014 | confidence, gender roles in business, leadership, women
In late June, the Boston Business Journal published an article titled, “There’s Light on the Horizon for Increasing Women on Boards“. The article highlighted a conference in Boston at which Mayor Marty Walsh and Gov. Deval Patrick were in attendance — along with 125 CEO’s, business people and other people of influence — all coming together to discuss how to get more women on corporate boards. Not a new initiative, of course. In fact, the article mentioned that The Boston Club had been “at this for 35-plus years.” I’ve been shouting the business case for increasing women on boards for years in my own practice. The good news is that people, men and women in varying levels of leadership, understand the business imperative for gender parity. Bottom line: Women leaders are good for business. If anyone’s still arguing that point, I trust they are only doing so in 1950 sitcom re-runs. However, understanding of and visibility for an initiative are just the first hurdles to jump. Implementation, follow through and action are what move the needle. The article mentions that “the momentum is shifting.” And, in the end, this meeting of the minds had created some resolutions and action plans that leave me hopeful. Those leading this conference impressed me with their willingness to expose the dynamic inherent in the challenge of legislating change. They noted that this would be a dual commitment between what leaders do individually and what they do in conjunction. What they left off, however is what women themselves must do in order for American companies to see what the author and I agree are “long overdue results.” It’s not just a top down enterprise, it’s also bottom up. There are, indeed, ‘binders full of qualified women’ but they need to be vocal and give us the full benefit of their wisdom...
Sep 30, 2014 | critical thinking, leadership
In a recent Ceo2ceos.com forum, the CEO of a small company sought advice on how to delegate tasks to his team in a way that increased their buy-in, generated predictable (and favorable) results and demonstrated (or created) a renewed sense of urgency among his employees. CEOs must, of course, focus on execution and immediate results but they must also understand how best to challenge and develop their workforce not just for maximum engagement but for retention too. In working with CEOs on leadership and management effectiveness, I see this issue often — in any size firm — as the race is on to not only attract but more importantly, to retain talent that can solve the problems of today while also anticipating and innovating ahead of tomorrow. Retention comes from engagement but engagement comes from being invested in the work. Delegation is one tactic but delegating without clear expectations and without also cultivating critical thinking and problem solving skills will likely result in incomplete or misguided results. In a complex, fast-paced, ever-changing, uber competitive global marketplace, misfires are costly in terms of time, resources, morale and then engagement. So, just telling others what to do is not going to get it done. Instead — and this is a dtkDistinction — I always ask clients to take a more systemic view which gives us a three dimensional look at not only the issue but the context, the current reality, the alternatives and the eventual options. Okay, then what? As a CEO coach and professional development expert, it’s imperative that leaders challenge their employees on two levels: first, from the boots on...
Jul 23, 2014 | critical thinking, personal development
Over the last decade the quest for “work / life balance” — thought to be the antidote to our modern condition — has taken on mythic proportions, spawning an entire industry (books, seminars, treatises, etc) dedicated to discovering and maintaining the precise tipping point that allows us to feel like our lives are our own. This quest, now an end in itself, saps a lot of our energy, focus and resources, which seriously defeats the purpose and can leave us feeling powerless and despondent when we either can’t get it right or can’t sustain it. How is this at all productive? The answer is simple: Wrong quest. Let’s start with the notion of “balance,” which suggests to me an image of an old fashioned scale with two trays suspended at either end from a horizontal beam. For that beam to remain horizontal, we need an exact amount of this (work) on one side and an exact amount of that (life) on the other. Add more of this or take away some of that and… no more balance. This is an exacting experiment, requiring controlled, predictable and static conditions. Realistic for a lab maybe, but not for us in a time of ambiguity, complexity and all but certain change. Prior to the Great Recession we had already entered an era of “extreme jobs,” requiring us to log an unprecedented number of working hours, resulting in sky high stress levels and great unhappiness. Since the Recession, we find ourselves in a time that insists fewer people do more with less. Combine that with increased family and personal responsibilities and we can see...
Jul 7, 2014 | critical thinking, entreprenuers, leadership
I posted this on a previous July 4th and I’m happy to report that it remains relevant today. Sure, circumstances change and context shifts but the essence of the conversation — the central truths — still pertain. As far as the shifts go, I’m very encouraged that the cross-pollination I advocate at the end of the original post has started to happen, with established businesses — and even corporations — coming to value a more entrepreneurial, innovative and questioning mindset. Similarly, entrepreneurship is attracting many former corporate types who are tired of toiling in someone else’s mine but who can bring some structure and a bit of process to the often unruly state of early entrepreneurship. Our culture highly values independence and self-reliance and it’s taken the economic reverses to remind people that companies are no longer the secure, paternalistic guarantees of yesteryear. The caution now is that nothing is a magic bullet so it’s critical that those who abandon one for the other must understand the realities of both. Neither is a haven, both require hard work and in the end, it’s about the choices we make … and the freedom we have to make them. That’s independence! Independent Day Everywhere you turned this past week, there was some article or other discussing the significance of and reverence for July 4. And rightly so, as it’s been said that the collaborative work product of our Founding Fathers formed the basis of a most compelling political system. Plus, it’s an inclusive celebration – definitely not a contrived Hallmark event — shared by all Americans. So, we again celebrated our...
Jun 6, 2014 | coaching, confidence, critical thinking, gender roles in business, leadership, women
Lots of recent discussion about what I’ve long referred to as the confidence conundrum — how much is enough, how much is too much, how do we get it, why does he/she have it and I don’t— particularly as it pertains to women in leadership. While this is certainly not a new topic, two national journalists have written a book hoping to “crack” the “confidence code”…once and for all. See an overview here: Journalists Kay and Shipman urge women to close the confidence gap. Not that simple. Despite ongoing efforts to capture it, achieving a state of balanced confidence continues to elude even the smartest and most successful. Which is why hot and cold running trainers and coaches have created a self-perpetuating industry of quick fix offerings that a) capitalize on fear and b) never get at the more fundamental issues, the true drivers of authentic and sustainable confidence. In fact, their approach is merely palliative and therefore short-lived: they drill women on using bolder verbiage, on deploying more assertive body language, on acting ‘as if;’ indeed, all are legitimate interventions and confidence boosters** but are also wholly insufficient. The problem and why it persists, I submit, is that we’ve been thinking and going about this all wrong. In 2013, I was asked to address the East Tennessee Women’s Leadership Summit on this very topic and had the distinct privilege of shaking up the status quo with an original and innovative paradigm: basically, confidence isn’t a commodity to be bought, sold, borrowed, loaned or lusted after and there simply is no code to break. Instead, it’s a constellation of...
May 14, 2014 | coaching, critical thinking, networking, Uncategorized
I’m often asked to train leaders, board members, and teams on the topic of personal branding and networking, subjects I’m happy to simplify for my clients. However, in order to make an impact in this particular arena of professional development, I must first reveal a sometimes unwelcome truth: The art of creating a personal brand and building sphere of influence offers no legitimate short cuts. Even considering the speed at which business moves today, incremental and deliberate is still the way to go when developing a compelling brand and a powerful network. A strong personal brand isn’t something academic or hypothetical you fabricate in a closed room with your resume, a notebook and personal coach. It’s built over time, from the inside-out, and is the culmination of how you choose to conduct yourself in the boardroom, in client meetings, and when representing the firm at your industry meetings. And it’s the strong, authentic personal brand lived consistently that is the key to building a meaningful and influential network. Of course, there will always be those who promote the quick, far and wide method of building your network, amassing names of “contacts” and reducing your personal brand to a 30 second elevator pitch. But this does little to foster deep connections and a curated network, the stuff of influence. And, because influence is the currency of business, I’ll continue to bypass the shortcut in favor of the longer but more scenic...
Apr 10, 2014 | coaching, critical thinking, leadership
Mentoring — while a popular buzz word in the halls of corporate America today — is actually a very old concept, referring to a teaching technique previously reserved for the few and the special. However, in response to the fast pace, intense competition and complexities of business, mentors and proteges alike, have significantly diluted the mentoring process into something that lacks the power, impact and effect it once implied. To reinvigorate your own mentoring program, and plan for its possibilities and limits, it’s critical that you approach the process through a different lens. Let’s start with a basic definition. Building an impactful mentoring program or being an effective mentor is a delicate dance, more complex than the standard, yet unofficial definition of the term, making mentorship synonymous with brain-dumping information, fixing people, or making connections. While leaders are often fine with the teaching / advising function of mentoring, the true impact is made when the mentor adopts the Indo-European derivation of the word, meaning “to think.” The best, most enduring gift Mentors can give their proteges is to get them to think. Effective mentors teach, yes, but more importantly, they question and challenge their protoges to deploy the knowledge they’ve gained, see patterns, connect the dots, make inferences and solve problems. If you’re reading this and your own mentoring relationship or mentorship program appears to lack the power and results you initially imagined, remember that the best, most sustainable, and most applicable learning is experiential. Encourage your leaders in mentoring roles to: Ask more questions; – Avoid being overly prescriptive – Expect the protoge’s interest, commitment and energy to match...
Dani Ticktin Koplik —
Leadership consultant, executive coach, change agent and passionate professional development expert and speaker. You can learn more about Dani and her clients by visiting dtkBio page. 